Day 10

My son noticed sugar cane in the veggie market... "look papa sugar cane" he said.  I looked but we walked on looking for mustard greens and squash... then...in the back of my mind this thought came.."sugar cane...now that's a vegetable... Right?"... Oh this sooo day 10.

Day 7

Pre Breakfast Entertainment:  Before we even got into the kitchen this morning we were visited by these traveling minstrels.  They had beautiful voices and were playing a kind of local banjo (this through the eyes of a banjo player).  Made from a single hollowed out tree, and covered with goat skin then strung and played with a bow.  They played three songs.  They come often.  Maybe they like me, or maybe they know that I over pay them by like 5x what they usually get... what to do?

Breakfast: well... you can see for your self... guacamole.

Lunch:  The awesome soup from Red Dragon and some good friends over, they all had chow mein another one of the Red Dragon's specialties.

Dinner:  Oh man, The Kitchen Magician turned a 3.3 kg gourd that I brought home from the veggie market into the best roasted squash that was ever smashed by the hands of men, and chicken and two pomegranates (but I shared with the family) and roasted squash seeds.  

Insights:   In communities where many languages are spoken, like here, sometimes different languages will be used only in specific situations.  For instance people may speak Nepali at home with their family, but Hindi in the market place, and English with their friends.  These are called language domains.  I think I have built food into my life in this way.  I have "eating domains."  Times, places, events, feelings that I associate with hunger but hunger isn't really present.  In college I had a Taco Bell domain, it went like this:  If not in bed by 1:00am then to Taco Bell go.  And a blueberry muffin domain that went like this: if going to general chemistry then two blueberry muffins eat you will.  So how to separate real hunger from these domains eh?  This seems like such a simple matter, it has been a bit... shall I say painful?... nah difficult.  Feeling hungry means almost nothing these days... it could actually mean just about anything from fatigue to fun.

Connections:  One of my favorite things about living in Kalimpong is the connection to creation that I am forced to abide in.  For instance, weather seriously affects my day, because... everyone here basically lives outside, I mean there are houses and everything but nothing like the well-sealed things in the US.  If it's cold I'm cold, if it's wet I'm wet, if the lights go out, I'm in the dark.  This Whole 30 thing has done something similar, I feel more connected to the things God made to be enjoyed and eaten, and I have been reminded that they take work.  I can only eat what happens to be growing... I love that!  In fact it has been one of my tests for discovering if I am hungry or if I have entered into an eating domain.  I ask one question.  Am I hungry enough to cook something?  If the answer is yes then rock and roll, lets munch.  If the answer is no, and a few almonds or a piece of fruit or something won't do... then it's something else masquerading  in a hunger suit.  Show thyself masquerading food domain and be dismissed!

Day 6

Breakfast:  This is the first hard day.    I woke this morning wanting everything white, super-processed and sweet, like the french toast Bethany made, but instead I had my usual Guacamole-esque meal with and a huge grapefruit-like thing called a pomelo.  Look at that rind!  It's thick but very spongey, I've even seen these floating at times.

Lunch:  Was just weird.   I had a strange assortment of food, all of which was good, but afterwards I felt odd and still hungry.

Dinner:  Was Awesome!  Through the middle of a power-outage my kitchen magician wife was able somehow to cook beef-stuffed cabbage rolls with "Unknown-Squash Soup"  All of which was amazing with the side of carrot-raisin-walnut salad.  I mean honestly it's like Kitchen McGyver around here, without the dorky mullet of course.

I almost lost it today:  Every time I passed a snack shop and here... they are like capillaries, no matter where you are in your body, you are never far from one.

As for my experience today, the pathos, I think requires poetry... enjoy.

Out of an ocean of coffee

Crawling on diced veggie sand

Traversing the dessertless desert

For to go to a healthier land.

The egg yolk sun making thirst that 

Dried milk-oasis won't slake

Cabbage tumbleweeds crossing my path

Through this carbo-less wasteland I take

The Oreo Cactus it taunts me

Blue package and white stuff they call

But the quills of resolve they will stay me

These 30 days I want them all..........................................

Day 5

Breakfast: Tell me truly, what do you see while looking at this motley veggie crew?   Yeah me too... Guacamole!   except of course the coffee... the eggs... the coconut milk, and the light green orb.  The latter of which is a "skoos."  It's a vine grown gord, tastes like a bland squash but has the texture of a potato and if you handle it bare handed your hands will turn red and burn for a couple hours.  It all came out looking more like something you'd get at IHOP in Mexico, but tasting great.  I am starting to wonder why I haven't eaten whole acacados for breakfast my whole life... I mean honestly it's the king of fruits... or veggies... 

Lunch:  I didn't get a picture of lunch because I ate it too fast, it was a light salad with similar ingredients to breakfast but with lemon juice and olive oil vinaigrette.  Very nice, and kept me a little bit hungry for the real treat today... Lamb Burger.  Dinner:  You read correctly.  The Hi Spirits Cafe and Bar served up this puppy, I mean lamb with a few no-no's like the bread, a slab of cheese (the scrapped remnants of which can still be seen) and some french fries.  The latter of which I cared nothing for, it's not like I spent the first several minutes just starring at them or anything.  In the end, the boys ate them.  I enjoyed every bite of the lamb  though was still a bit hungry in the end but a few almonds and some egg-tomato-onion stir fry at home later filled me up.

I almost lost it today when: I had to buy eight huge packages of oreos, and 42 other small packages of various delicious cookies and watch my family eat ice cream while standing next to a food stand the specialized in french fries, which I don't care anything for by the way.  Ah day five, tomorrow I'll have to use two hands to show what day it is using my fingers... a common practice in a house with three small boys, the same boys... who ate my fries... which of course I care nothing for.

Day 4

Coffee, a part of this complete breakfast

Breakfast:  Coffee eggplant tomatos peppers and eggs which would have been revolting except for the fact that it was all fried in rendered pork fat... ok now that does sound revolting.  I prefer calling it "bacon grease" ...is it just me or does that sound less nasty?  The family had pancakes... which should have been really tempting... but wasn't... my breakfast looked and tasted great.  Noticed this morning that my developing miniature double chin was gone... maybe it's on vacation, or maybe, just maybe it has run away and is never coming back... be gone chin!  I choose fit!

worth every moment peeling

Lunch:  Left over beef barley soup and left over triple salted pork and veggies... a pomegranate (so worth the elaborate peeling process), a papaya, some peanuts, and a cup of tea.


Dinner:  Tonight we are going out to our favorite restaurant in town.  The Red Dragon... which is so small that it can only hold four tables, the kitchen is a closet, there's no bathroom, but the food is really good, really fast and of course very affordable as the most expensive dishes are around $1.47   I am hoping to persuade them to bring me a vegetable soup of sorts without any noodles or rice... this is sure to cause confusion.  "Yo khaana bhaat nahalikana malai dinuhos na?" (this food, rice without putting to me give please) just might do the trick...

Red Dragon Special, three meats and veggies

I almost lost it today when... at 1:00 am I got up to do some work and watch a movie and an old habit kicked in.  A vision of a glass full of Oreos (recently bought out by Cadbury in this part of the world, no longer made by Nabisco, not that I'm paying close attention or anything) submerged in milk floated before my very eyes... but instead of making the vision become a reality, I just went to bed instead... as a wise man once said "sleeping man not eat delicious-but-utterly-useless-sandwich-cookies-stuffed-with-white-creamy-happiness."  some wise men are not skilled in brevity...

Day 3

Breakfast: Quick meal of eggs and peppers, makes mornings on the Whole 30 easy since eggs are simple and fast.  Though just to get the veggie mass I want for the day, I added an entire green pepper and numerous smaller and hotter ones as well.

It's Saturday here, which means it is shopping day, and a great day to buy beef, and chicken and pork and I got all three. Here in lies another way in which my Whole 30 experience will depart from the typical since buying meat for me is more like stepping onto a scene in the hit-movie Alien vs Bovine (rated EBP Extreme Bovine Peril).  Due to the ubiquitous bone shards scattered throughout the meat, we are fairly certain, though we have never witnessed this, that the slaughtering process involves dynamite.

Lunch:  Chicken, cabbage, eggs, and a rocking cilantro clavored Thai sauce that Bethany made minus the soy sauce and peanut butter (which is forbidden... what in the world).

.................dream sequence...
Dinner:  A Snickers bar, ice cream and a peanut butter birthday cake...mmm

.................dream sequence...

Dinner:  Beef Barley Soup minus the barley and corn with hot peppers (I may stop mentioning this...let's just assume I'm always having a few of these), and an entire avocado which are in season now...yes...  My magical spouse has once again conjured amazing food out of the thin air of Kalimpong.  And as usual, having three small boys in the house, I am never more than two feet away from a "sano ghadi" small car.

I almost lost it today when... I got a text advertising buy one pizza get one free deal today at Dominos.   Just so you get the picture, getting this pizza would have required 5.5 hours round trip in the car on a bumpy, monsoon struck mountain road... and I almost went. Now if a dominos opens in Kalimpong...I'm a gonner...but it's more likely that I will get my son a pet narwhal.

Day 2

Hi's and Lows:  There's a little twist to my particular trip through the Whole 30.  I live in rural India.  Now eating healthy in India should be easy.  It's vegetarian right...mostly?  Most people eat rice and lentils twice a day and drink a couple cups of chia (local pronunciation of "chai").  But there are problems.  Though the twice a week vegetable market is bigger than a football field, the variety of vegetables is actually rather small, subtract kale, sweet potatoes and add half a dozen unrecognizable items and you get the picture.  

Insights:  At the end of the day Bethany (my wonderful wife and resident kitchen magician) asked me how I was doing...good question.   I am really fine.  I am not stuffed, and not hungry.  The biggest difference I notice is not a loss of food, and but a loss of entertainment.  I think I usually eat for fun.  And let's just say I am used to having... a lot of fun.

Breakfast:  Eggs and peppers and salsa...

Lunch: pork and veggie left overs from the previous day a little less salty thank goodness

Snack:  Two little bags of roasted peanuts, an apple, a banana...and... ok that's all

Dinner: Omelet with a whole tomato lots of hot peppers with carrots and an avocado.

I almost lost it today when: I woke up in the middle of the night, and headed into the kitchen for the peanut butter and cereal out of habit... when it hit me... I was not hungry, just bored... what better to do when you're bored than eat?  Answer:  go to sleep (at 2:45 am anyway).

Day 1

Hi's & Lows:  It was a kiddy ride today as I barely noticed that anything was different.  The LOW arrived in the form of a mild craving for cereal.  The HIGH was realizing that I can and should have as many Dali Korsanis (stupefyingly hot <but not the hottest> local hot peppers) as I want.  So I bought 1/2 a kg which was probably not very clever because I can only eat one or two per meal, chalk it up to a good day for the shop keeper who is now thinking "stupid foreigner..."

dhal bhat and dali korsanis

Breakfast:  Eggs and Peppers, that was easy, I would eat that anyway.  Wanted to top it all off with a glass a milk, but didn't.

Lunch:  This was harder because I am so used to dhal bhat (rice and lentils) for lunch that I really wanted some, however this day I had pork and greens.  The only mistake was salting the pork, because the greens had been cooked by Sharmila our house helper and when she cooks, global salt prices go up.  So I think in fact it was triple salted.  Tasty... a little bit too tasty because I ate it with four peppers and paid for it with fire-mouth for two hours.

Snack:  Local roasted peanuts.  And a bananna, and an apple, and a pomegranate. 

Dinner:  Thai Chicken Salad Cabbage Burritos.  Just use your imagination.  Cabbage instead of tortillas, the thai sauce minus the soy sauce and ground peanuts instead of peanut butter, and voila.

Today, I almost lost it when:  I came across a tupperware full of muffins in the kitchen...

"Do you want to be old and fat or old and fit?..."

...says my wife to me one day without an ounce of malice or loathing in her voice, just a simple question.  At the time I was throwing back a Safari Bar ... but realized suddenly in the midst of my thorough enjoyment of empty calories... that she was right.  Though I noticed I didn't get an option on getting old.  And since the afore mentioned age train is rolling rolling rolling down the track somewhat out of control, the only thing I can change it seems is the cargo that's loaded up... and up till now the cargo has born a striking resemblance to everything you can buy at the checkout counter... 

So a few days ago, when I was ready to actually do something about it a good friend of mine at Ground Zero Cross Fit in Norman Oklahoma suggested that I try the Whole 30.  In short it's a purge diet that can help "slay your sugar dragons."  I can eat meat, veggies, fruit, nuts, and coffee. Ok coffee wasn't specifically mentioned, however... I noted with interest that it wasn't forbidden.  If it had been, would I be posting this?

So here I go... thirty days... what's it gonna to be... Fit or Fat?  We shall see.